i've come to realize, i dont know what i need. i dont know what i want. i know what i feel. and i see what i dont do. i know where i dont want to be. i dont know where i want to be. but here, my home. my heart. a burdon of life. right now i choose to leave. when i dont think of anyone but me. so again. i feel selfish. but i need these people. to know who i am. and i dont know who i am. so i need to leave. rid myself of all happiness, and all pain. somewhere, familiar. yet somewhere new. where i havent left a peice of my heart through my mind. will it taint yet another place of home? am i willing to chance that? i feel iam. because for me to find out, another place i cannot exsist. then im only closer to finding wher ei am ment to be right? does it matter where i am though? should it be good enough i have people i need and love more than myself? true, i will always need that. no matter what. but i need to find myself. i have these ideas in my head of what i should do with the rest of my life. careers.. travel family, etc. it scares me, ive never planned more then 5 minutes ahead, in my life, now i have the next 60 years flashing inside my sights. i wish i could say, that i will be okay if i stay. but dont feel it. i feel obligated to my decisions, and i never want that. die free right? let me die free.